


Remember When

by skyekingsleigh



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 09:38:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11377512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyekingsleigh/pseuds/skyekingsleigh
Summary: in which two ex lovers see each other again after three years and alcohol really shouldn’t be allowed near them ever againorin which they meet again and couldn’t decide if it was fate, karma or just plain serendipity and he really looked hot and “damn, this isn’t right.”





	Remember When

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this back when i got addicted to the twilight books and robert pattinson bye

Kristen was tired. She was tired of all the drama, she was tired of the cameras and the flashing lights, of Hollywood and just… she was tired of being _miserable._ Kristen was also very confused. Since the beginning, confusion had been her accompaniment and it was a feeling so familiar to her that it would be unusual if she were ever sure about something. _He_ was the only thing she had been sure of, and she fucked that up too. 

Maybe she missed confusion too much that she doubted him, doubted them. It was the fear, the almost tangible distress on the unknown. She never really planned to fall in love with Rob. To be honest, she was bitter and hateful towards the four-letter word but he just looked so perfect all the damn time paired with an amazing personality and _fuck_ , she’s thinking about him again.

She scratched at her professionally made fingernails, still waiting for her order of large fries and cheeseburger. Fine and Dine was a place very close to her former home with her former boyfriend, a place they always went to when they couldn’t be bothered to cook. Now maybe it was the fact that she was coincidentally in Sta. Monica for a shoot today or it was supposed to be their 9th year anniversary if they would’ve stayed together but ever since her car entered the place, all she could think about was him and them and everything that comes after it. She was feeling unusually reminiscent and nostalgic and it was totally fucking up her emotions. _The way she fucked up their relationship._  
Letting out a silent groan of frustration at her crazy thought, she closed her eyes, shut tight, scrunching up her eyebrows. Why couldn’t she just move on? He certainly has. She was the one who jeopardized their relationship in the first place. Shouldn’t the fuck upper of the situation move on faster than the fucked up? If so, then why couldn’t she just do it? He was already engaged, for goodness’ sake! 

Kristen had tried everything, everything possible to help her cope. She got tattoos, wore completely different style of clothes, hell, even swung for the other team! Still, at the back of her mind, she couldn’t get rid of his cheeky smile and bright eyes. It doesn’t help that she could always see his face on articles with his new girlfriend– sorry, _fiancé._ She cringed at the word. 

A waiter brought her food to her table, Kristen nodding her head in silent thanks. With a frown plastered on her face and a crease between her eyebrows, she began to pick on her food. She wasn’t even feeling hungry anymore. She only then noticed that the burger she ordered wasn’t the one that she usually gets, but his. Cheeseburger, no pickles, no mayo. The realization of this pitiful behavior made her feel even less hungry than she was feeling already. “Seriously, Kristen, stop being so pathetic.” She mumbled to herself, half-heartedly eating a fry. 

It was then that she heard the bells on the entrance door of the diner chime. Normally she couldn’t even care less, but seeing as though placed at the back, her table was still facing the door, even without caring she would have noticed. In fact, the whole diner noticed because it’s not everyday that you have two celebrities (who used to be a couple, at that) at the same place at the same time. 

Kristen’s breath had gotten caught in her throat, her jaw falling slack as she stared at his tall profile. Still the same Robert she remembered, only a tad bit more buff and possibly taller and hotter than she would’ve guessed. Was fate playing with her? Was this her karma for what she’s done and for hurting not only him but herself as well? What are the odds that in this very memorable burger joint for the both of them, in a place where they’ve both formerly lived in together, on the day of their anniversary, they were both present at the same time? Kristen silently begged for the ground to swallow her whole. 

Leaving was Kristen’s choice. Robert had forgiven her, she didn’t know why and how but he did. They tried to stay together, they both tried so hard to make it work but it didn’t. She noticed how everyday with her was becoming something of a painful reminder of what she did for him, and thinking of what’s best for him, she decided to just stop it. She figured that though it will hurt them, breaking up could save them from a million times more hurt in the future. And god, did it hurt. It hurt her so much that some days she would physically feel so weak that she can’t even get up from her bed. Others were a disaster all in all, spending an entire day crying and looking at their pictures and rereading their messages. But it was a sacrifice that’s needed to be done. 

But even after three long, painful years, she wasn’t sure if it was a sacrifice worth it. And then their eyes met, and she wondered if leaving was the right choice or a mistake. 

Like a thief caught red-handed, he froze in place, eyes wide and mouth agape as he noticed Kristen across him. Robert felt the fight of flight instinct taking over him, his emotions going haywire and his mind shutting down. What the hell was she doing here looking so beautiful as if she was waiting for him to arrive? 

Kristen was starting to panic, especially when Rob started to unconsciously walk towards her table. _Shit. Shit. Shit!_ Why is he approaching her? Had he gone mad? What is she going to do? This is unexpected. She thought Rob had already moved out and was living some place else, why is he in Sta. Monica?

Before the both of them knew it, Rob was already standing in front of her table; still speechless from the shock he felt when he saw her. “Kristen?” his very familiar and velvety voice asked, eyes shining bright under the diner light hanging above the both of them. 

Kristen almost had to swallow a moan at the sound of his voice, still managing to sound sensual in a very awkward situation. Clearing her throat, she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. “Rob,” she acknowledged him, nipping at her bottom lip. 

She didn’t know what to expect. Was Rob just talking to her to be polite? Is he still mad at her? There were a lot of questions in Kristen’s mind but she didn’t have the guts to ask them. She felt like she had no right to ask him questions, especially after what she’s done. She’ll never forget the regret and shame she felt of her actions.

“It’s been so long since…” he trailed off, head shaking in disbelief. He was still taking in the sight in front of him. How awkward could this be? It was the day of their anniversary! What must they do? And how could she manage to look so distressed yet so alluring and beautiful at the same time? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that everything’s rushing back to Rob, like the way she felt and the way she tasted. It wasn’t fair that Tahliah was out of the country and the things running on his mind as he raked Kristen’s body was supposed to make him feel bad but it doesn’t. “How have you been?” 

He took it upon himself to sit down at the empty chair in front of her, noting the way she fidgeted in her seat and played with her fingers, refusing to make eye contact with him. “It was… I’ve been really busy lately.” She managed to sputter out, sighing right after. “What are you doing here, Rob?”

The nickname tasted weird in her tongue. It’s been too long that the word became unfamiliar yet still so acquainted to her. She tried to ignore the somersaults in her stomach and instead focused on the meal in front of her. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” his eyebrows raised, lips twitching as a hint of smile threatened to break out in his face. It brought both of them back to their various moments of teasing and stubbornness and answering questions with questions. It was one of the things they’ve missed most about each other. The pointless banters raging from whether they would be having bacon or cereals for breakfast to hogging the blanket at night. As matured as they are, their arguments were always something to look forward to after a long day of work and now that they’ve separated, their common form of stress reliever was gone. 

“Seriously?” Kristen mused, raising her perfect brows as well. “I asked you first.”

Rob suddenly looked embarrassed, scratching the back of his neck and clearing his throat. A hint of red was also starting to spread in his neck and ears, making him look all the more adorable in Kristen’s eyes. “I was, uh, I was actually at our… house.” He started. Kristen was about to react when he continued. “I never actually sold it, you see. When you left, I figured it would be a waste of time and besides, I loved it. It was so… us, you know? So I never really had the balls to sell it.”

“Why were you at our house, Rob?” Kristen looked down, not expecting at all what she just heard. He didn’t sell the house? So it’s technically still theirs. She could stay there all she wanted because they still own it, _together._

“I still have some things there that I needed to get. I was actually considering selling it now–“

“Don’t!” she cut him off, both their eyes widening at her almost pleading tone. Blushing, she tried to regain her composure. “What I meant is, I’m glad you didn’t sell the house, and now that I know that we still own it, I don’t want you to. To sell it, I mean.” She tried to explain. 

“Okay then,” he agreed, too easily and fast for Kristen’s liking. “I won’t sell the house. We still share it, anyway. I can’t just decide this on my own. “

“Thanks,” she breathed out. “Aren’t you going to order?”

Rob straightened up. “Right, I should probably move to another table no–“

“No, it’s okay!” Kristen insisted. “You can sit here. It’s all right. We could use some catching up, right?”

“Right.” he said, calling a waiter– the same one who served her earlier– over. “I’ll have a cheeseburger, no pickles and no mayo,” Kristen didn’t miss the side-glance she got from the waiter at the familiar order. “Your 6 pieces chicken nuggets and a large coke, thank you.” 

After ordering, he turned back to Kristen and grinned, slightly taking her aback. His grin is one of the most fascinating things she has ever seen, it was breathtaking and mesmerizing and just plain beautiful. God, why did she ever let him go? He was perfect for her; they were perfect for each other. One moment of weakness and she couldn’t even wait for him. One unintentional kiss and the trust he has for her crumbled down and eventually ruined their relationship. She was so stupid. That’s the only explanation for what she’s done, for hurting him. “You haven’t answered my question yet.”

She snapped out of her trance. “Oh, right. Uh, I was here for a shoot and it ended early, thank god. So now here I am.” 

“Oh,” he said, an ‘o’ shape forming on his lips. “That wasn’t as interesting as I’d hoped. Bummer.” 

Kristen giggled, fucking giggled, like a high school girl and it was honestly the most pathetic sound to ever escape her lips. It’s like she had no control over her actions around Rob and it was so annoying. 

“What? Were you thinking more in the lines of ‘It’s our anniversary and I was feeling lonely so I decided to go back to our favorite diner?’” Fuck, maybe they weren’t on teasing basis yet. _Fuck! _She was afraid she’d scare Rob off, slouching in her seat in humiliation.__

__“Oh totally. Such a shame I was wrong,” he went along, relieving Kristen of the stress growing at the pit of her stomach. It was these moments where she was very thankful that Rob knows her like the back of his hand, better than anyone, even._ _

__“Nah but really I just…” she paused, thinking of a more accurate way of wording the reason she was there. “I don’t even know why I ended up here. There are a lot of restaurants in Sta. Monica and yet here I am. I guess I was too familiar with the place that I just drove to somewhere I was at ease with. It’s just coincidental that it’s our anniversary.”_ _

__“Understandable. I’m quite the same, honestly. I was in our house and this is where we usually eat coming from there. It’s almost like an instinct, to be honest.” He agreed with her, nodding his head. His food had arrived, and no words were anymore exchanged as they started to eat silently. A few approving hums escaped Rob’s lips but that was the only sound heard coming from them. Kristen took the time to really check him out, taking for granted the fact that he wouldn’t notice._ _

__His hair, lighter than she remembered, was a bit disheveled. A bit of stubble was starting to grow on his chin, making him look manlier and sexier. His eyes were brighter, too, and as selfish as it may sound, it pained Kristen to see him so happy, so _functional_ without her while she cries almost every single night because of him. This was it. This was the karma everyone’s telling her about, her actions coming to bite her back in her ass. She thought karma was supposed to be humiliating and embarrassing and dignity taking. But it isn’t. It’s painful, a constant ache: a throb in her chest that she couldn’t escape. And it wasn’t just emotional and mental; it’s starting to become physical as well. She felt drained, like she had spent all her energy being miserable and melancholy and she didn’t have the strength for more. She was broken, and she didn’t have anyone to blame but herself. _ _

__“Are you done staring?” Rob’s question snapped her out of her momentary daze, again, flushing red under his gaze. She apologized meekly, averting her eyes and looking down at her hands._ _

__Suddenly, she felt ready to explode. All the years she’s hidden and bottled up her emotions, crawling out and making her feel almost dizzy. “Rob, are you mad at me?” her tone wasn’t gentle, either. It was demanding, like she not only wanted to know but also needed it. Her feelings were almost as insatiable as him and she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth._ _

__Robert was shocked, as clear as his facial expression showed it. His eyes– as beautiful as they were– were almost bulging out of its sockets and his movements, frozen. “What– what makes you think that I’m mad?”_ _

__Kristen groaned out loud, not even bothering to lower her voice. She was frustrated, three years of agony coming back to her. She didn’t know where to start but she did know one thing: if she let him go now, she wouldn’t survive another day without him. As crazy as that sounded, it was like she had set an ultimatum upon herself and she needed to get this done. She needed him to know that even after everything, she still and will always love him. Subjecting her thoughts away, she focused on the matter at hand. “You… you act so normal! Like nothing ever happened! Wh– why aren’t you acting like a normal ex boyfriend?”_ _

__“Had this been bothering you?” he asked, tone almost amused. It only made Kristen even more frustrated and untamed._ _

__“Since I saw you walk in, yes! Why aren’t you yelling at me or cursing my name or calling me out on my mistakes or even telling me how much I’ve hurt you? Why…” she halted, tears suddenly brimming her eyes. This was the part she hated most, letting other people see her weak and putty._ _

__“Because, Kristen, _I’ve moved on._ ” He said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Yes, you’ve hurt me like hell before, but that’s it. It was _before._ I know you felt bad, and I accepted your apology. It’s over, there’s no point in being mad about it anymore.”_ _

__And that was it, the most painful moment in her life. It hurt like nothing ever did before, not even close to when they were both officially over. It was like a million knives stabbing her whole body over and over, or having an operation without morphine. Her mind shut down and her chest heaved, because _damn _, it hurts and she just wanted to cry and get it over and done with and possibly die. This wasn’t what she was expecting him to say. To be honest, she wanted him to be angry with her. She wanted him to scream at her and accuse her because at least, he was feeling a deep emotion for her. He was feeling something about her and that’s all she ever wanted. But he’s right, he said it himself: He’s moved on, and it seemed like Kristen was the only one who hasn’t yet.___ _

____“Will you do me a favor, then?” she managed to croak out, taking deep breaths and willing her tears away. If this was the last time she’ll ever be with him, she’ll make the most of it in every possible way she knew. It hurts her to think about not being with him, but what else could she do? He wouldn’t have gotten engaged if he didn’t love his girlfriend. He wouldn’t be able to be the one who chose to sit with her if he wasn’t over their relationship._ _ _ _

____“What is it?”_ _ _ _

____“Drink with me.”_ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____The bar they chose, just a few streets away from Fine and Dine, was almost empty. It was nearing eight o’ clock in the evening and with the number of bars and clubs in the area, it wasn’t surprising that the oldest looking one was close to vacant. Rob offered to get them drinks, while Kristen sat a few tables away from the entrance. They could only hope that no one saw them and took a picture, or else the media would go nuts._ _ _ _

____Rob came back later with six glasses of Heineken, four shots of tequila, salts, lemons and two glasses of vodka. He really took it seriously when Kristen told him to drink with her. Raising her eyebrows at the amount of alcoholic beverages he had in a tray, she smiled. “Good think I brought aspirins with me.”_ _ _ _

____Robert laughed in response, eyes crinkling by the sides. God, he looked gorgeous. He started to divide the glasses into equal parts between them before sitting down just after setting down the now empty tray at another table nearby. “Okay, so I was thinking we do the shots first then chase them with beer. Sounds good?”_ _ _ _

____Kristen nodded in response, raising her shot glass along with his. “Cheers,”_ _ _ _

____“Cheers!” he repeated, more energetic than she. They mirrored each other’s expression, faces both crumpling up at the strong taste burning a line down their throat. Kristen went for the lemon, but Rob’s hands stopped hers.  
“No, no lemons and salts! That’s only for display. Only beer! You said you wanted to get drunk, let’s get drunk!” _ _ _ _

____She rolled her eyes at his absurdity, grabbing a Heineken and using it as a chaser. The bitter taste entered her mouth, cold but not enough to give her brain freeze. “I’m going to be so wasted,” she chuckled, shaking her head._ _ _ _

____“Where are you staying at, by the way?” he questioned as he, too, grabbed his glass of beer. Already their faces were becoming flush, the effect of the alcohol buzzing its way to their system. Getting drunk had become an escape for Kristen. She liked how it blocked out unnecessary thoughts, although some nights it heightened them. She could only wish tonight wasn’t one of those nights._ _ _ _

____“Some hotel. Shutters on the beach, or something.” She answered, taking a sip._ _ _ _

____Rob whistled, looking impressed. “Pricey.”_ _ _ _

____“I know. Management insisted, those wannabe bastards.” They both laughed at her words. They’ve missed this, laughing without care. For the past three years, all Kristen could think of was people judging her and Rob being happy with someone else. It’s nice to know that he could still be happy _with_ her. _ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____Hours later and they were now in the elevator of the hotel Kristen was staying at, holding on to the metal bars to keep them from toppling over. They were slurring around and laughing and being drunken messes together. Their eyes were red, faces as flushed as Kristen’s dark lipstick. They were happy, and though there was a 60% chance that they wouldn’t remember anything the next day, they simply don’t care._ _ _ _

____“But you’ve had girlfriends!” Rob almost shouted, tears brimming his eyes because of too much laughter. They were talking about their relationships after they’ve broken up now, and how they managed to laugh about it was beyond them. “Have you slept with any of them?”_ _ _ _

____Kristen stayed silent but grinned evilly, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she wiggled her eyebrows. Rob gasped exaggeratedly, pointing an accusing finger at her._ _ _ _

____“You have, haven’t you? You dirty little vixen!” They both cackled at his choice of words, clutching their stomachs and even crouching down. The elevator dinged open, both of them stepping out and trying to walk straight into Kristen’s hotel room. Finally, they spotted it, Kristen taking her time to get her keycard and opening the door._ _ _ _

____“What? You can’t blame me! I had to try! I tried everything to get over you, you know.”_ _ _ _

____They stopped in their tracks– for what seemed like the nth time that day, Kristen near the bathroom and Rob walking towards the couch. The air shifted around them, going from comedic to serious in a matter of seconds. She opened her mouth to say something but decided against it. Slowly, she approached Rob’s frozen figure.  
“Too much?” she asked, trying to take the conversation on a lighter note._ _ _ _

____“No, just…” he trailed off. “Just unexpected, is all.”_ _ _ _

____She frowned then, pulling him to the couch to sit with her. Once they’ve both settled, she began. “Why?”_ _ _ _

____Rob had let out a breath, looking up at the ceiling to avoid her intense stare. He contemplated for a second before eyeing at her with a new desperate look. “ _You_ broke up with me, Kristen. You’re not supposed to have a hard time getting over me. You ended us; it was your choice. If I had my way then we probably would still be together now.” _ _ _ _

____“You think I broke up with you because I wanted to?” she asked, tone incredulous. “You don’t know how much I wanted to just go back to you every night that I lay awake _alone._ You don’t know how much it hurt me to walk away. You don’t know anything!”_ _ _ _

____“Then why did you do it? Why did you leave me?”_ _ _ _

____“I had to choose what I thought was right!” she finally snapped. Her voice broke and tears once again welled up in her eyes but she didn’t bother to wipe them away this time, she ignored it and continued because Rob needed to know. He deserved to know. The least Kristen could do now was explain herself. “I saw you; everyday I see how much you struggle to even be in the same room as me. I know what I did left a huge impact on you and it hurt you to even look me in the eye. I couldn’t take watching you crumble slowly because of me. I, I thought I was doing you a favor. So I ignored how much pain it would cause me and decided to put you first._ _ _ _

____“You’ve always been my main priority, Rob, you of all people should know that. Aren’t you glad that I left? You, you’re engaged and to be married with an amazing girl, I’m sure. And yes, it still pains me to see you be with her, but what can I do? If you’re happy then I should be too.”_ _ _ _

____It was relieving, in a way, to be able to tell him things she had wished she could tell him for years. Maybe alcohol was the key, after all. It gave her the nerve to even speak to him without stuttering and stammering like a complete fool._ _ _ _

____“You…” he started, a surprised look drawn on his face. “Do you still…”_ _ _ _

____Kristen buried her face in the palms of her hands, shaking her head. Her hair had created a curtain around her face, hiding her from him. “Yes. I do. I shamefully, irrevocably and insanely still love you.”_ _ _ _

____Rob had always been the one, per se. He had always been Kristen’s Edward, Romeo, and other cliché leading men out there. The Nicholas to Kristen’s Sparks, the J.K to her Rowling. He completed her in every possible humane way. It was hard and painful to envision a life without him. She’s experienced the past three years as an example and now that he’s just right in front of her, she didn’t want to ever experience being without him again, as selfish as that may sound._ _ _ _

____“Why are you hiding from me?” he questioned, finally speaking after a long minute of silence. He had shifted closer to her, their arms almost touching. “Kristen…”_ _ _ _

____And then she started to cry. Like full on, balling her eyes out, cry. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I…please forgive me. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry,” she repeated the words like a chant, shaking her head each time. Her sobs were becoming louder, enough to alert Rob. Kristen rarely breaks down, especially in front of other people. It made his heart not only ache but long for her. Without thinking clearly, he wrapped his long arms around her shaking frame, cradling her to his chest._ _ _ _

____Rob rubbed her back and moved her hair away from her face, now being able to see her ever beautiful and flawless face, so close for him to touch. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispered, trying to shush her. “You’re okay, we’re all right, Kris. Please stop crying. I forgive you, I forgive you.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m so pathetic, oh my god…” she tried to laugh, but still, tears escaped her eyes like waterfall._ _ _ _

____‘You’re not, okay? You’re far from pathetic. I get it. I get you. I…” _am I really doing this?_ Rob thought to himself. Fuck it. “I feel the same.”_ _ _ _

____“What?” Kristen questioned, pulling away from his warm embrace. “What did you say?”_ _ _ _

____Rob cursed under his breath, scratching his chin. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I just… I’m engaged!” _Like I don’t already know_. Kristen resisted rolling her eyes. “I’m engaged but I’m here with you and there’s nothing more I want to do than kiss you and I’m going fucking insane, alright? You’re driving me crazy! Ever since I saw sitting there on your table in _Fine and Dine_ looking all sexy and seductive as if you’re waiting for me I wanted to fuck you senseless until it’s impossible for you to walk but I’m engaged and she’s not here and I’m fucking _engaged_ , Kristen.” He was breathless by the time he finished rambling. _ _ _ _

____“Rob…” Kristen couldn’t believe her ears. Was this really happening?_ _ _ _

____“Shit, I’m sorry, I–“ he didn’t get to finish his sentence. He didn’t get to finish because his words became muffled. His words became muffled because Kristen’s lips were suddenly on his, and he was kissing back, and he pulled her onto his lap and, “ _Damn,_ this isn’t right.”_ _ _ _

____Kristen hummed in agreement but made no move to stop. Their hands frantically fumbled with their clothes, their zippers and were tugging on each other’s hairs. They didn’t stop until they were bare in Kristen’s bed, stifled moans and groans escaping them. They whispered, they screamed, they whimpered each other’s names like it was a prayer. It was wrong, it isn’t right; they knew that. They were making a huge mistake. But at this point, if making mistakes felt this _good_ then they wanted to make _more.__ _ _ _

____“Rob…” Kris whimpered, biting his lip as Robert intertwined their fingers together, continually thrusting in and out of her as if their lives depended on it. “I love you, I love you.”_ _ _ _

____He grunted, stilling with his forehead against hers, lips brushing against each other. “I love you too. I’m sorry. I love you.”_ _ _ _

____Was this goodbye? They weren’t sure._ _ _ _

____Will this happen again? Maybe, maybe not._ _ _ _

____Do they still love each other? Definitely._ _ _ _

____But sometimes that isn’t enough. And when Kristen woke up in the morning, the sun shining so bright she was momentarily blinded, no Rob by her side and a note reading “I’m sorry,” on her pillow, she knew that perhaps it wasn’t their time yet. They had a lot to fix, a lot to mend. They weren’t ready yet. He was still engaged, and she was still alone. And as much as it hurts, it’s okay, because Kristen knew they were meant for each other. And if making mistakes is what it’s going to take, then they were ready to make as many as they could. It was painful. She still loves him, he still loves her. But it was _okay._ She was sorry too. _ _ _ _

____“It’s okay,” she whispered to herself despite the river of tears streaming down her face. Taking a deep breath, she tried to convince herself. “I love him. It’s okay"_ _ _ _


End file.
